Sam Levenson quotes

"Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children."

In his comedy routines and humorous books, Levenson gave the world
Hundreds of other spectacular quotations. . .

"Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find
it."

"You must pay for your sins.
If you have already paid, please ignore this notice."

"The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well
is that they have a common enemy."

"You must learn from the mistakes of others.
You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself."

"Love at first sight is easy to understand;
it's when two people have been looking at each other for a
lifetime that it becomes a miracle."

"When I was a boy I used to do what my father wanted.
Now I have to do what my boy wants.
My problem is: When am I going to do what I want?"

"Any kid who has two parents who are interested in him
and has a houseful of books isn't poor."

"If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage,
just listen to her talking to her little brother."

"Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds,
there is a woman giving birth to a child.
She must be found and stopped."

"It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder
and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.'"
(Note: this became one of Audrey Hepburn's favorite quotes, and the
"If you need a helping hand" portion is often misattributed to her)