famousquotationz

Ogden Nash Billboards vs trees

2011-12-02T10:03:00.000-08:00

Ogden Nash
"I think that I shall never see / a billboard lovely as a tree. / Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, / I'll never see a tree at all."

Fear

2011-11-16T09:51:00.000-08:00

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

Dune - Frank Herbert

3-14-10

2010-03-14T08:13:00.000-07:00

Oscar Wilde "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."

Sam Levenson quotes

2010-01-02T06:38:00.000-08:00

"Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children."

In his comedy routines and humorous books, Levenson gave the world
Hundreds of other spectacular quotations. . .

"Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find
it."

"You must pay for your sins.
If you have already paid, please ignore this notice."

"The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well
is that they have a common enemy."

"You must learn from the mistakes of others.
You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself."

"Love at first sight is easy to understand;
it's when two people have been looking at each other for a
lifetime that it becomes a miracle."

"When I was a boy I used to do what my father wanted.
Now I have to do what my boy wants.
My problem is: When am I going to do what I want?"

"Any kid who has two parents who are interested in him
and has a houseful of books isn't poor."

"If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage,
just listen to her talking to her little brother."

"Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds,
there is a woman giving birth to a child.
She must be found and stopped."

"It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder
and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.'"
(Note: this became one of Audrey Hepburn's favorite quotes, and the
"If you need a helping hand" portion is often misattributed to her)

7-10-09

2009-07-10T16:13:00.000-07:00

Ed Gardner

"Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings."

Samuel Butler

"The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way."

Laurence J. Peter

"Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings."

Unknown

"It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything."

Otto von Bismarck

"When a man says he approves of something in principle, it means he hasn't the slightest intention of putting it into practice."

W. C. Fields

"I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally."

Buzz Aldrin

"I believe that every human has a finite number of heart-beats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises."

H. L. Mencken

"It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office."

Mark Twain

"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."

Demetri Martin

"I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert."

Jimmy Buffett

"We are the people our parents warned us about."

George Aiken

"If we were to wake up some morning and find that everyone was the same race, creed and color, we would find some other cause for prejudice by noon."

Thomas Pickering

"In archaeology you uncover the unknown. In diplomacy you cover the known."

Stephen Covey Quotes

2009-05-19T02:37:00.000-07:00

A cardinal principle of Total Quality escapes too many managers: you cannot continuously improve interdependent systems and processes until you progressively perfect interdependent, interpersonal relationships.
Stephen Covey

Effective leadership is putting first things first. Effective management is discipline, carrying it out.
Stephen Covey

Every human has four endowments- self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom... The power to choose, to respond, to change.
Stephen Covey

In the last analysis, what we are communicates far more eloquently than anything we say or do.
Stephen Covey

It's a fact that more people watch television and get their information that way than read books. I find new technology and new ways of communication very exciting and would like to do more in this field.
Stephen Covey

Live out of your imagination, not your history.
Stephen Covey

Management is efficiency in climbing the ladder of success; leadership determines whether the ladder is leaning against the right wall.
Stephen Covey

Our character is basically a composite of our habits. Because they are consistent, often unconcious patterns, they constantly, daily, express our character.
Stephen Covey

Public behavior is merely private character writ large.
Stephen Covey

The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.
Stephen Covey

The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.
Stephen Covey

There are three constants in life... change, choice and principles.
Stephen Covey

We are not animals. We are not a product of what has happened to us in our past. We have the power of choice.
Stephen Covey

We are not human beings on a spiritual journey. We are spiritual beings on a human journey.
Stephen Covey

We are the creative force of our life, and through our own decisions rather than our conditions, if we carefully learn to do certain things, we can accomplish those goals.
Stephen Covey

Quotes 5-2-09

2009-05-02T07:22:00.000-07:00

A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B.

Fats Domino (1928 - )

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of.
Jane Austen, Mansfield Park
English novelist (1775 - 1817)

Thomas Jefferson once said, 'We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works.' And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying.

Ronald Reagan

Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.

James M. Barrie

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

Mel Brooks (1926 - )

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

George Burns (1896 - 1996)

It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.'

Sam Levenson (1911 - 1980)

Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.

Robert Heinlein (1907 - 1988), Time Enough For Love

2008-12-21T06:10:00.000-08:00

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.--LONGFELLOW.

Pithy Quotes

2008-12-14T15:39:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself,' Lillian , you should have remained a virgin.'

- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter )

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I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'

- Eleanor Roosevelt
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Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.

- Mark Twain

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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.

- George Burns

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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.

- Victor Borge

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Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

- Mark Twain

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By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

- Socrates

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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

- Groucho Marx

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My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.

- Jimmy Durante

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I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.

- Zsa Zsa Gabor

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Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.

- Alex Levine

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My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.

- Rodney Dangerfield

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Money can't buy you happiness .. But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

- Spike Milligan

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Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP.

- Joe Namath

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I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.

- Bob Hope

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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

- W. C. Fields

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We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.

- Will Rogers

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Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.

- Winston Churchill

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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

- Phyllis Diller

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By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

- Billy Crystal

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And the cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good spit it out.

Calvin Trillin

2008-12-13T14:46:00.000-08:00

I don't care where I sit, as long as I get fed.

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

2008-11-14T17:41:00.001-08:00

Great fleas have little fleas upon their backs to bite 'em, And little fleas have lesser fleas, and so ad infinitum. (unknown)

2008-08-09T05:56:00.000-07:00

Hermann Hesse

"When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane."

2008-06-27T16:50:00.000-07:00

H. L. Mencken

"Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking."

Groucho Marx

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception."

2008-06-20T19:59:00.001-07:00

Unknown

"Anyone who uses the phrase 'easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried taking candy from a baby."

2008-06-07T17:42:00.000-07:00

Leon Trotsky

"Old age is the most unexpected of things that can happen to a man."

Benjamin Franklin

"Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead."

Yogi Berra

"Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical."

Mark Twain

"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest."

Sir William Bragg

"The important thing in science is not so much to obtain new facts as to discover new ways of thinking about them."

2008-05-13T20:57:00.000-07:00

Robert Copeland

"To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of whom are absent."

G. K. Chesterton

"The men who really believe in themselves are all in lunatic asylums."

Hunter S. Thompson

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."

Norm Crosby

"When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty."

2008-05-10T16:24:00.000-07:00

"Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read."

- Groucho Marx, comedian and actor

2008-04-28T19:51:00.000-07:00

Yogi Berra

"This is like deja vu all over again."

Peter Drucker

"The computer is a moron."

Ellen DeGeneres

"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is."

2008-04-22T14:09:00.000-07:00

Mark Twain
"Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty."

2008-04-17T12:36:00.000-07:00

Billy Crystal

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."

2008-04-15T14:17:00.000-07:00

Willie Tyler

"The reason lightning doesn't strike twice in the same place is that the same place isn't there the second time."

Fred Allen

"Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted."

Bill Vaughan

"We learn something every day, and lots of times it's that what we learned the day before was wrong."

Mark Twain

"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."

Friedrich Nietzsche

"The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time."

2008-04-14T10:58:00.001-07:00

De Sousa remarks: “When enough people share a delusion, it loses its status as a psychosis and gets a religious tax exemption instead.”

2008-04-05T14:02:00.000-07:00

Samuel Goldwyn

"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined."

2008-03-25T14:46:00.001-07:00

"Don't knock masterbation- it is sex with someone you love" - Woody Allen

2008-03-22T16:15:00.001-07:00

Mae West

"Too much of a good thing is wonderful."

Will Durant

"Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance."

2008-03-21T15:52:00.000-07:00

"Racism is so stupid. There’s more than enough reasons to dislike people on an individual basis."

- Will Durst, political satirist

2008-03-19T08:02:00.000-07:00

Bob Hope

"A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it."

Joan Klempner

"To achieve the impossible dream, try going to sleep."

3-13-08

2008-03-13T13:23:00.000-07:00

The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.
Peter Ustinov (1921 - 2004)

Robert X. Cringely

"If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside."

Pablo Picasso

"I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it."

2-28

2008-02-28T17:06:00.000-08:00

Rita Rudner
"Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them."

2-24-08

2008-02-24T07:47:00.000-08:00

Patrick Young
"The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it and wrong too often for us to rely on it."

Nora Ephron
"Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy."

Gracie Allen
"When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half."

Henry Kissinger
"Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation."

2-16-08

2008-02-16T07:52:00.000-08:00

George Carlin
from Quotes of the Day
"Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy."

Henry J. Tillman
from Quotes of the Day
"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate."

February 13,2008

2008-02-13T15:16:00.000-08:00

Thomas Jones
"Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate."

Dorothy Parker

2008-02-08T09:25:00.000-08:00

You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.

It serves me right for keeping all my eggs in one bastard. (Said when leaving hospital after an abortion).

2-8-08

2008-02-08T07:12:00.000-08:00

When you think of the long and gloomy history of man, you will find more hideous crimes have been committed in the name of obedience than have ever been committed in the name of rebellion.
C. P. Snow

William S. Burroughs
from Quotes of the Day
"A paranoid is someone who knows a little of what's going on."

John Kenneth Galbraith
from Quotes of the Day
"The only function of economic forecasting is to make astrology look respectable."

Unknown
from Quotes of the Day
"Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege."

Mike Myers
from Quotes of the Day
"Silly is you in a natural state, and serious is something you have to do until you can get silly again."

E. B. White
from Quotes of the Day
"The time not to become a father is eighteen years before a war."

George Bernard Shaw
from Quotes of the Day
"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man."

Herm Albright
from Quotes of the Day
"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."

Ronald Reagan
from Quotes of the Day
"Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born."

Dorothy Nevill
from Quotes of the Day
"The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment."

Thomas A. Edison
from Quotes of the Day
"To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk."

Robert Orben
from Quotes of the Day
"Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian."

Mae West
from Quotes of the Day
"I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it."

Unknown
from Quotes of the Day
"Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

Doug Larson
from Quotes of the Day
"Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own."

Carl Sagan
from Quotes of the Day
"But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown."